You Missed This? Rewind : #KFCFunga

Apparently,it seems you guys have never tasted spiced chicken!How about a Spiced "Funga"?Suprisingly,most of you have.This is what got all tongues wagging and trying to find the edge,Why take away a "KFC" and not a "Ken - Chic".Believe it or not,it turned out to be quite an amusing TT and as always,here is where we cache and curate it for you slow ones to have the last of the laughs:

We have winners;

sickolia That Guy.

#KFCFunga does not put on a weave.She comes with Horses instead.

 

John_murumba John Murumba✔

#KFCfunga doesn't do 'pick-up' lines, she does Range Rover dimensions

 

 Ivan_Sang Ivan Sang

You need not give instructions to a #KFCFunga, it is pre-programmed to satisfy you fully and receive your complaints

 

 mcmsubaru Michael Chege Mwangi

A #KFCfunga doesn't catch pints at the local, she mellows out at The Brew Bistro.

 

 wagiomuts Sheila Wagio

#KFCfunga can't have phone sex with you if you're using an ideos. @theAllacoaster. Hahaha lol

 

@Dee_spicable: A #KFCFunga doesn't drink ordinary water, she drinks H2HOE

@Abdidi: A #KFCFunga doesn't give you her phone no! She gives you her #bbm pin :)

 

 @vanderwangwe: #KFCFunga can make Amos akuwe Wake. 

 

Killliving Brian Sihudu

#KFCFunga uses doors instead of windows on her PC

 

@SpikyMartin: When you are vybing a #KFCfunga and you bore them,they can Minimize you.

 

_RamzZy_ Rama VS Ramzzy

If a chef is found stuffing that chicken while smiling his wife can file for divorce. That's cheating! #KFCFunga

 

PhilipOgola Philip Ogola

#KFCFunga Why did the Chicken cross the road to @nakumatt junction? -To get Laid

 

 

 

Equus africanus asinus Twitteratis - The mysterious Donkey on Twitter

You may have characteristically spotted random  tweeps donkenizing everything they could think of earlier on this week.Dont ask us why everybody suddenly got caught up in the hullabaloo but now you certainly how the Mexican wave was invented and also why the #londonriots spread over Britain like wildfire in a matter of hours.

From jobless idling  tweeps to sneaking  tweeps in the office took to finding donkeys from literally all spheres of life.And believe us,many donkeys sprouted,some we knew about ,others were just one of our many moments of enlightment on Twitter.


Check this out -The Donkey winASS were;

@mainneli: Taking your Donkey to Kisii- Kissing that Ass.

sickolia That Guy.

A Donkey that is out of the Country=========>diASSpora

 

HexHeizzy Hector-sama

A donkey with a bad behind - BadASS

 

 Kanyairo The Nyairo_ⓞ

A donkey's EXAM: Continuous ASSessment Test.

 

@kedirah: a donkey guess - an ASSumption

 

Kawiria Kawiria Rincuni

A blonde donkey - DumbASS

 

joewmuchiri joe muchiri

a stupid donkey coach "ASSene Wenger"

 

AKenyanGirl Naomi Mutua

This is retarded! RT @ndinda_: @AKenyanGirl @vanderwangwe @dee_spicable @joewmuchiri Tightass- A donkey called Titus

 

Dee_spicable Dee

Volunteering your donkey to be used in a martial arts movie- 'Getting your ass kicked'

 

Chef_pinchito Eugene

a donkey that jumpps into conclusions...ASSume

 

 @ForeverCaliente A donkey to avoid>contagASS

 

"@sickolia: A Very Intelligent Donkey=====>GeniASS" ha

@sickolia: A donkey's Bonoko=======> bASStola

 

@m_dblogger: A donkey in an election bid ~ ASSpirant.

remz_kipkorir Remmy Kipkorir

i got a luxury donkey, its a lexASS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#Kenyans4Kenya - #Team500Million

 

Kenyans4Kenya

@kenyans4kenya Kenya

#Kenyans4Kenya Send your donations to M-PESA PayBill number 111111 or to KCB Account Number 1133333338

http://www.safaricomfoundation.org/kenyans4kenya

The hunger and famine situation is worsening by the day,people are starving to death and thousands more are in danger of succumbing to death.The matter has now peaked to red alert.However,the really bad part is we have a dysfunctional central government and parliamentary representatives who have the temerity to blackmail each other over petty matters such as taxation and some NGO's which apply for donor funding under the banner of feeding famine victims but divert the funds to fuel their high flying luxurious personal  budgets.

This is the background to which kenyans4kenya was launched.The culmination of bruised and frustrated spirits,hopes and aspirations.The trashing of all expectations and promises and waking up to a new dawn that we dont have to wait for anybody ,goverment , Ngo's or donors:We can do this!

The Media Owners Association,@kenyaredcross ,@SafaricomLtd Foundation,The KCB Foundation ,#kenyansontwitter , #KenyansOnFacebook come together and we have #Kenyans4kenya,through which we can spread the word around and mobilise Kenyans anywhere on the planet to help their fellow citizens.

The miracle is that in less than 24 hours of the campaign,over Ksh.5.5 million had been raised.The goal is to raise Ksh 0.5 Billion,a target which may have seemed farfetched but that has been proven achievable in those 24 hours.

We are overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity and we encourage you not to give up: #TEAM500MILLION !!!

REMEMBER : Send your donations to M-PESA PayBill number 111111 or to KCB Account Number 1133333338

We went snooping around and we Rounded-up some of your tweets:

Martha_W_Karua Martha Karua

@kenyans4kenya Count on this Kenyan as well. The plight is too acute needless deaths are occurring. Thanks for stepping up. #Kenyans4kenya

 

 bobcollymore Bob Collymore

Kenyans never cease to amaze me. So far Shs 13 million raised through #Kenyans4Kenya in 24 hours!

aoyako Arthur Oyako

Amazing what a population can do when they put their minds and hearts to it. #KenyansforKenya

EvelynWambui Evelyn Wambui

Its overwhelming how Kenyans are standing up for each other in times of crisis #KenyansForKenya #GodBlessKenya

EvelynWambui Evelyn Wambui

Its overwhelming how Kenyans are standing up for each other in times of crisis #KenyansForKenya #GodBlessKenya

GinadinPR GINADIN COMM PR GDCC

Dear Kenyans, you have so far raised 6.6M to feed our brothers & Sisters in the hunger stricken #NorthEastern. #KenyansforKenya

GinadinPR GINADIN COMM PR GDCC

Dear Kenyans, you have so far raised 6.6M to feed our brothers & Sisters in the hunger stricken #NorthEastern. #KenyansforKenya

WandiriK Wandiri Karimi

@ArcherMishale I see most people on my TL can see #KenyansforKenya is about PR but right now it doesn't matter as long food is given

 G4S_Kenya G4S Kenya

#BigShoutOut to @bobcollymore and @SafaricomLtd for #KenyansforKenya food initiave

ChrisBittok Chris Bittok

Embarrassed to admit I'd procrastinated but have now finally sent my donation to M-Pesa paybill #111111. #FeedKE #KenyansforKenya. Wewe je?

thejam984 The Jam 98.4

Please save any amount- any amount whatsoever for #KenyansForKenya. Have you? is.gd/cytljs

Lynmungai Lynn

#KenyansforKenya - The time has come for us as Kenyans to act. We are the only ones with the power to feed the hungry among us.

deejay2one2 dj 2one2

if you are still wondering whats #kenyansforKenya, its us helping our own M-PESA PayB

Tweeps Pay Tribute to Amy Winehouse

After news broke out that 27 year old singer Amy Winehouse had been found dead,tweeps and tweepsesses took to twitter to mourn her death and celebrate her colorful but unfortunately short life.We did a round-up and we could shed tears that would make a splendid aquatic habitat for the fail whale failwhale,jokes aside,whether Amy died of natural causes,whether it was due to narcotics...KENYAN TRENDS CELEBRATES HER.We will remember her for her music although we do wish she had done it a little differently,still we give a toast to her...R.I.P she here is what you tweeps tweeted about the sad news:

Gee_Muri George Murithi

Ati amy winehouse amekufa?

 

FancyMashazi Mbali Mashazi

Can sum1 tel me if amy winehouse is dead or not?

 

Mchizzi Steve B

Haiya, Amy Winehouse and Urs truly share a birthday!?!

 

_RamzZy_ Rama VS Ramzzy

Amy Winehouse dies her Wikipedia page changes instantly en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Wineh…

 

AntozWolf Anto Mwenda

HOLY SHIT!!! Amy Winehouse is DEAD????!!!

 

nikkisixx: Drugs suck.How much clearer does the message have to be? R.I.P. Amy Winehouse  

 

DjJoeMfalme: RIP Amy Winehouse, for the rest of us, say no to drugs

 

UstadhKimongo Joseph kimongo

#thatakwardwmoment when amy winehouse's death daent trend bt rehab does

 

fkkuria Fhareed Kuria

If Amy Winehouse is dead it must have been an OVERDOSE

 

 

Celebrities Tweet Responses to Winehouse's Death

The Inspiring Story of 9 year old Rose Nasimiyu

It would be unbelievable if you are a tweep and you have not heard about Rose,the nine year old cancer patient who was featured on capital talk by @KoinangeJeff this week and previously on the African Cancer Foundation launch .Rose discovered 6 months ago that she has Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a type of cancer which originates from white blood cells.She is currently undergoing chemo sessions at the Gertrude’s Children’s hospital every two weeks. This costs between Sh50, 000 – Sh60,000 per session.Barely 9 years old,she talks with the eloquence,agility and fluency of a trained public speaker.

Unlike contemporaries or as you would expect,this has not made Rose despair or dampen her spirits.For those who know her well,she is the epitome of courage,strength and hope.In the interview on the bench with  @KoinangeJeff she admirably outlined her experience,the dreadful encounter,the diagnosis,how it affected her life,her deepest fears and her greatest strengths."People are dying of cancer not because cancer kills them but because they don’t have money,"is her amazing retort.She can also imagine the immense financial strain her treatment must be causing her family and others affected by cancer.She has recorded a song which she hopes people are going to buy and the proceeds will go into offsetting the tremendous bill required for cancer treatment.

Her ambition is one day to become a pediatric oncologist and help other cancer stricken patients.

In her battle with the world's most dreaded disease,Rose has achieved a lot : She has successfully fought the stigmas associated with cancer and created more awareness more than any governmental or NGO could have ever created.She has made people realize that cancer is real and if we don't do anything,People are going to die.This is the stark reality,People who are unfortunately going to be diagnosed with cancer are fortunately going to draw a lot of courage and inspiration from her.

At KenyanTrends this week....ROSE IS OUR HERO!

To make contributions to Rose, you can M-Pesa on 0724-55 17 54 or contact Rose’s mother on pwegesa@yahoo.com.

Who are more dumb :#Kenyansontwitter vs #Kenyansonfacebook

Kenyans on twitter are an interesting lot,101 % of Kenyans on twitter have a Facebook account but they love to hate on their #mkz brothers.The term/acronym which stands for 'Mukuru kwa Zuckerberg' itself is a raw indication of the distaste to which Kenyan tweeps have for Facebook.An interesting definition on urban dictionary    goes like "The term originates from a nomenclature used to give names to many slums in Kenya, for example, "Mukuru Kwa Jenga" slum located in Nairobi. The term uses the name of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and is a derogatory way of referring to Facebook as a slum full of backdated and out-of-style people who on most occasions don't have the slightest idea of what's going on in the urban Internet world of Twitter, or the Internet for that matter".

The beef was revived this week with #IKnowTheyAreFromMKZ. Reading your tweets,someone would think #mkz  is one of the largest homes for the idiots of this world,which surprisingly is partially true.A study by Pew Internet which focussed on educational distribution for social network platforms found that Twitter users are likely to be better educated than Facebook fans.

 Anyway,as we always say and keep saying "Its never that serious",we love you #Mkz brothers (we know you will never get an avenue to get back at us,they don't even have the remotest idea that anything happened,they are just a bunch of people whining or gloating about their relationships and tagging people in stupid photos).Here is the fun...Trend roundup;

-vanderwangwe Baba Amin

#IKnowTheyAreFromMkz if they tweet without vowels. "nmkmss dia, cll m smtym, k?"

 

-vynkev voke

#IKnowTheyAreFromMkz when they ask DM ni nini?

 

-vynkev voke

#IKnowTheyAreFromMkz when they can't read this #iknowtheyarefrommkz

 

-jowami jσє♥

#IKnowTheyAreFromMKZ when they ask you to tag them in your avi.

 

-ebrahd ibrahim

#IKnowTheyAreFromMkz when they search for the 'like' button mpaka chini ya battery

 

-BrayoRozay Brian omondi

#IKnowTheyAreFromMkz when they put hashtags and handles on every word they write.

 

-njiiru Verified

#IKnowTheyAreFromMkz unawaandikia #icant wanaanza kukuencourage,"beleive in yourself everything is possible"

 

-ben_skulizy ben loyalty skulizy

#IKnowTheyAreFromMkz When they tweet me, "si uaccept friend request!.", to mean i follow them back.

 

KU_chicks KU Honies

#iknowtheyarefrommkz when they think #tittytuesday is breast cancer awareness day

 

Corporates vs Social Media

You guys blew up such a fuse over @SafaricomLtd that were we afraid they were going to stop signing their tweets.Safaricom's twitterer's (someone who updates a corporate twitter account) are anonymous since there is no official reference as to whom they might be.This said,you might as well have been making fun of your dad or friend's initials.
The genesis was one @Gee_Muri who had some problems with texts that he needed sorted out.He decided to  #mentionit to @SafaricomLtd,where unfortunately after a number of tweets,an amicable solution was not reached.Safaricom's final word on the handle sounded like a line out of the movies, "Please advise if the same persists as per our call ^SW".
All of a sudden,the Kenyan end of the Twittersphere came alive,ablaze with all kinds of tweeps allegedly trying to conjure all sorts of definitions the two initials could possibly mean.Before the TT finally evaporated,an ignoramus could have sworn that @Gee_Muri (and others) had been called undespicable names which of course we know it's not true.


Its quite popular practice to sign a post(tweet/blog) to identify who posted it.As in the case with @BarackObama ,The president is too busy to tweet on each and every issue,the account is run by a carefully selected team.However,when he does get the time,he is at it like the rest of you.Tweets from the President are signed -BO.We are hoping we will not find a #Barracksinitials TT,trust us ,we do not secret service sneaking on us like @JohnHarunMwau .We are joking,as always ,its never that serious and we hope @SafaricomLtd  did not take it to heart (does anyone know if they have one?).The lesson :corporates,social media is a great way to connect with  both customers and investors,user queries submitted via social media should not be taken lightly...otherwise,here is our Trend-roundup :

Trend roundup